POLAR KAYAK EXPEDITION

LATTITUDE 29 NORTH

 

Major Minor of Tide Guide Kayaks and Senior Pinto Beene of the San Antonio River Authority paddled 54 miles down the outside coast of Matagorda Island State Park and San Jose Island.

 

TRIP LOG:  March 13-16 1997

 

Thur. Morn.

 

           

                Boarded the State Parks ferryboat along with 40 Boy Scouts and a few fishermen.  Ronny Gallagher TP&W  Superintendent offered us a complimentary boat ride and wished us well saying “better you than me Bill”.  Shortly after arriving at the park while we were looking after our boats and milling around talking with fellow passengers we were almost, stunned when a Boy Scout rode past us.  He had a load of his camping supplies and was being followed by his scoutmaster. Now I never figured boy scouts was for me and as for Pinto, well girl scouts would be the club might interest him to ever join.  This scoutmaster was instructing his bicyceler to procure a life jacket, “while riding on the island” or dismount.  The kid looked stunned, I’m sure he was planning to put maybe a dead fish in the Dork scoutmaster’s sleeping bag that evening. 

            We strolled around and smoked cigars and after awhile Duane sent a truck over for us and our boats.  The sign on the road said “gulf of Mexico that a way”.  The weather was pretty nice and when we got to the gulf it was gentle looking with 1-2 foot surf going out 100 yards or so.  Just fine for launching our expedition to Port “A”.  We had been planning this Sea Cruise for 3 years.  Pinto’s idea if I remember right.  Ocean Kayak touring is very advanced in my opinion, so in preparation  I had checked with Ronny Gallagher and a surfer friend of ours and Boat captain Steve Allen he runs Shlitterbahns Hatteras out into the Gulf on a regular basis.  Both men agreed that the gulf stream runs east – west in the winter, maybe up to 6 knots.  After eating and getting the boats launched from the east tip of Matagorda we pointed west and shoved off thru the easy surf onto the rollering gulf and into a south east breeze of 5-10  knots, warn and sunny out.  After awhile I got near Beene and asked him.  Did you see that shipwreck up in the dunes?  He said, yep.  Like I said this being out here in the gulf is Beene's idea.  I’m perfectly happy just rowing around in the Lagunas which are 2 miles the other side of the island and parallels us all the way.  Beene figured we better ought to do this.  Edgar Duncan, Larry Elder and Pancho Howze were supposed to ride along ___________!!!, WEENIES.  The real thing that bothers me rowing on the ocean is land might be within sight thru the washing machine (surf Zone) one side of your boat, the other side of your sled is

Cube-rrrr (Cuba).  That’s why I’m smart enough to spend most of my time in the Lagunas.  So this rowing around out here kinda gives me the HE –BE-GEE-BEE’S.  We stay pretty close together as we row along, then Beene says, Theirs another shipwreck,  I Say’s, Yep.  We have 4 days to go 54 miles.  Plenty of food, booze, tents, warm clothes and whatever else.  I called Chris Pease the Federal Warden out here to let him know we were going to be cruising by his refuge.  It kinda thru him when I said we would be in the gulf, not the Laguna.  There’s to be no hiking around on the refuge He says, I guess he’s right, Whopping Cranes and all kinds of wild animals around out there.  We must have paddled 5 miles when I get hungry.  Pinto has bread and peanut butter in the bow hatch of his boat and I can unlock it and build us two sandwiches..  It’s a real fine paddling day actually.  I’m relaxing little by little.  Were 100 – 200 yards offshore water temp. 70 air temp. 75.  We have flushed 3 or 4 rafts of migratory  Sea Scaup which dive near the surf line I guess for food.  Naturally lots of Gulls and Terns.  Some Grebes, Boobies, Mexican Ducks, Tons of Hajolote (water turkey) Del Mar.  Some turtles and Whales.  Occasionally we have to dodge the wicked, dreaded floating Blue time Bomb called the Portuguese Man of War.  If the time comes for you to get one of their Dangling tensticles wrapped around your arm or chest you a dead man.  It would be bad, like building fence in a patch of poison ivy with fire ants on the prowl.  Bad, Bad news this creature of the deep.  I know and remember.  Staying in these kayaks also is pretty rough, after 2 hours I’m usually willing to find a beach in the lagunas and rest up maybe for a day or two,   we’ve  already been traveling 4 or more hours.  I’m ready to go on in any time.  Which means crossing the surf..  I over the years have piloted my boats through these treacherous moments.  You really can only surf thru if your good and lucky, or else you wipe out, that’s about it.  I like the surfing method but when ya catch a roller with these  over packed kayaks you’re committed to the wave cause the boats to heavy to back off.  I rode 2 fine ones smoking 100 yards at 10-15 knots.  Come to a dry landing get out and look for Pinto.  He crashed, surfing takes plenty of practice.  As an indication of  the gulf stream I watch as my fine friend gets dragged down the shore of into the sunset to the west.  H looks alive out there but the kayak is swamped and he appears to be hanging on not really bothered by it all.  I don’t really think it would be smart to row  back out and try and rescue him,  I’m sure after long I’d crash as well.  So I just watch as he drifts on by.  Get out fast you idiot, I holler into the roar of falling water.  He has most of the food not to mention a $3,000.00 TIDE GUIDE boat.  After awhile I see him start bobbing to the surface and eventually come stumblin on out.  We are at a pretty nice beach its still fairly warm out an we can hang around in swim pants.  The boats have to be unloaded and gear hauled up to the dunes where we camp.  I tried to net some bait,  waters is pretty stirred up and brown, fast current as well.  No bait/no fishing this evening.  We set up out chairs in the sunshine and fix a drink, couple of cigars are still dry after Beene's wipe out.  Pinto’s neighbor James gave us 3 links of dried venison sausage and a sack full of venison jerky.  We get a stove going with noodles and excellent south Texas Sausage.  Mighty fine out here.  No problems.  We have couple more drinks and watch in the sunset  as over in the dunes Whitetail (the four legged variety) start comin out, easy pop with the Rusty Ol 30.30.  We have to wear winter cloths  after the sun goes down and build a fire.  Plenty of driftwood around.  Rum we been drinking has cured my aches and pains from the day.  Beene breaks out the aspirin just to make sure.  I feel better now.  We get out our Bucket of blubber, lots of pork in that venison sausage.  We need tons of calories out here we have got 3 more days to go and we heard that a norther is predicted tonight or tomorrow.

 

FRI. MORN.

 

            Coffee, aspirin, hot cereal.  Sometimes I can tell when the weathers about to change.  We get packed and launch thru small surf.  We travel about 2 ½ hours see a shipwreck again,  Beene rows over and I build sandwiches he hands me some of the dried venison.  We raft up its a little wavy but warm and sunny.  We take it all in.  Just mighty fine.  Were about 200 yards offshore.  Pretty soon Beene says, I’ve been watching those clouds, we might want to bet our jackets on.  We did and here it comes 30-55 knot norther the seas become rough and gripping your paddle takes effort.  Now quickly and astutely we must pay attention to our boating skills.  This  heavy wind is not blowing onshore anymore its blowing towards Cuber.  Pinto and I wished for a following wind for this expedition.  The wind now was aft of beam and moving us along with the gulf stream our boats probably doing a good 5-6 knot.  I occasionally would surf a  3-4 footer 30-40  yards without much trouble.  Being offshore like this is heavy duty, I’m ready to quit and go on in.  Pinto says, “Where doin alright, the wind could be blowing in your face”.  I keep rowing along and we stay close together for about 2 more hours.  Then I  find out I shouldn’t have been so lazy fixing Pintos kayak for this little trip, his aft hatch needed new gaskets which I neglected to install and these following seas the last 2 hours had flooded the back 1’2 of his kayak.  He never said anything which is kind of him.  None the less he and his leaky boat was swamped and actually sinking.  Besides the heavy water inside makes the boat tipsy.  After awhile more,  Beene knows this kayak is going down unless we go in so he points with his oar and we head for shore.  The surf has built up to 3-4 feet.  Pretty big in my book,  I am lucky and fly in on 3 different waves real fast.  I get up on my feet and look out to  sea,  Beenes crashed.  It’s not real cold out actually it’s warm, but it looks nasty out, grey, little mist and 30-35 knots wind.  I hate crashing like Beene out there.  Getting in the ocean is really pretty nuts.  A man should be in  a boat or on a surfboard or better yet stay on the beach.  Beene finally manages to flounder on in.  He’s alright, we laugh around his sunken boat, bet everything bailed out and our camp set up.  It’s a nice beach area; sand dunes and we must be on the Federal Refuge now, because the meadows are gorgeously green, like a golf course.  They must have burned the old growth off last year.  Plenty of hog and deer in theses parts, plus Goose, Whopping Crane, Duck, ETC.  We mix a few drinks start cooking and adding layers of our winter cloths.  Pinto guzzles the rum and builds hisself a Bon fire.  He can’t take weather below 75.  Plus he’s been under water the last part of the afternoon.  He actually started shivering and chattering so hard his teeth might of fell out.  I said, eat something you moron.  We make up a bucket of James sausage and some pork and beans.  Pretty nice really, after dark Beenes Bonfire roaring and strong winds but fairly dry.

 

            SAT. MORN.

 

            From the looks of it surf zone 300 yards offshore.  Ya got any aspirin Beene, Yep help yourself.  Sip coffee, smoke, eat.  I decided to go for a nature hike even though Chris Peace told me not to. But I didn’t go far, just up to the dunes.  I can see for miles.  Noticed a few deer out in the meadows and seven white Snow Geese.  It’s blowing hard, I have on about 2 inches of that modern outdoor clothing.  It’s warm out but looks cold, grey and misty, 50 degree’s out with a wind chill making it 40 degree. I can see Beene over at camp he’s got him another bonfire burning.  I can see the Win Lodge run by the Nature Conservancy way down the Savannah.  I’m starting to get a little nervous, could be Peace is lurking around with binoculars ready to arrest me for trespassing.

            Back at camp we lounge around for a little while taking it all in.  The seas have picked up way beyond reason.  Just to get offshore we will have to punch through or over breaking surf of 6 feet for 300 yards.  Going out in these loaded boats usually is pretty doable just keep your speed up and ducks if a wave slams you.  It’s best I think to just sit back and loaf on the beach.  While doing so we reminisce of the good old days of uncomplicated carefree days of camping.  Back in the 60’s and 70’s outdoorsmen the likes of us could go out into nature with a box of canned corn, beans, span and a few cans of beer relax all you want and leave everything behind tossed of in the brush. Ronny and Chris would love to catch me in those old days.  This Turd coast is so littered it doesn’t even phase me anymore. So our tin cans will disintegrate in 3 months and all our plastic well dry up and crack apart.  Cigar wrappers get lost in the wind and chewed apart blowing down the beach.  Rum bottles last awhile but these so many whiskey bottles an wine bottle out here fell of the oil rigs, or wash down from the rivers our addition didn’t look any more different then all the rest.  All you Echo hypocrites whom might consider me a slob can up and go to heaven.  Beene thinks we ought to salvage lumber off this beach, there is excellent wood, boards and beams all over, some mahogany no doubt from Honduras or Costa Rica rain forest preserves (I've been there).  Lots of coconuts and long lengths of 3-inch towropes, plastic bottles add infintum.  With the wind howling like it is and blowing sand we joke that we are Polar Kayak explores roughing it up here in the arctic dunes.  Nothing in sight either way but miles of wilderness beachfront.  Behind us a National Treasure, a Wildlife Refuge.  Out front Cuber somewhere out there in the fog.  We kinda hope some contraband would wash ashore, Cuban Cigars, Coke Cola, make us popular and rich back on the mainland.  To bad we have to move on today it be all right to stay out here for awhile.  Looks like theirs plenty of easy hog and whitewall to be had.  (just joking).  We must cover 20 miles today.  Beene says we ought to of brought along his jackass he keeps in his back Pasture on his farm (makes so much noise Pintos wife had a terrible operation done to quite him down some) we could get Jacob to pull a cart along case we get chicken.  Sounds like a good idea for next time.  I’m not real wild about getting thru the surf and blowing down the coast out of control for another day.  Yeah that is it hire a cocktail waitress to drive Jacob for us and bring along a bunch of her friends.  We don’t have that fan club today.  It’s really not that bad today but it’s not like rowing around in the Lagoons Birdwatching.  We are going back out upon the Ocean.  This time we spread duck tape to seal Pintos Caught.  We have been wondering all morning.  I wonder if we will see anymore shipwrecks today.  We should see fishermen at the land cut called Cedar Bayou.  It separated  Matagorda form San Jose. We’ll be something like half way to Port”A”.  Just gettin off the beach and afloat is no easy trick.  Timing is everything, you must also have a rudder in your boat in order to maneuver it .  We exit, waves are wide and easy, although offshore a good 6-foot swell with it’s wave trough definitely drop your amigo out of sight while paddling.  It’s up and down all day long.  Waves in the morning are easily surfed, I started catching 50-60 yard rides right away Beene is playing it safe.  Theres a quick tailwind now and it appears the past 30 hours of N.E> wind has increased the gulf stream, we are definitely steaming west.  It’s deep out here and kinda of quiet.  Just waves, some enormous, 10-12  foot swells now.  I’d catch one when I get brave every  once in a while.  They just take my breath away,  when I go down for the drop, this TIDE GUIDE  kayak planes out at 10 knots and I know on a couple of waves I made I been doin 20..  You could heard me screaming my head off for miles, HELP ME JESSUS.  I finally quit surfing in the afternoon,  they got 15=20 feet tall and breaking.  Pinto and  I just rowed humbly along.  Only a Pendehoe would be goin for a surf this far  offshore.  We are still 20-30 miles  from Port “A”.  Man it is really weird rowing out here, I really can’t say it is the greatest thing in the world to do.  Actually this is mostly a challenge, rowboats and men.. We are doing our best not showing off, keeping  our boats in check,  Shipwrecks all over 2 more big trawlers.  I’m ready to go in and call for help.  Beene say’s, “WERE HAULIN ASS IN THE RIGHT  DIRECTION DIMWIT, HANG ON”.  This is pathetic out here, these  swells are ridiculous.  It’s foggy, a little rainy, blowing fast.  Couple  of Whales came blastin past us all of a sudden from the stern.  Scarred the manure out of Beene, he said, they looked like sharks.  We were just ripping.  All you could do was paddle every once in a while and then steer with your feet.  We covered 20 miles in 4-5 hours.  Towards the end Beene spotted what we thought was a ship going out of Port “A”.  Turned out it was one of the 20 story Hotels out in the fog.  We could see it 10 mile away.  I wanted to use the next 90 minuets of daylight to make it to the jetty where we could go in without crossing the surf.  Beene has another idea and said, “We goin in”.  Maybe I could have argued to keep goin but followed Pinto into the jaws of hell.  If he could have heard me yelling behind him PATO PENDEJO (Mexican language not usable in this text)  Some swells were 8 feet.  I just told myself ------------ it.  I ripped two or more waves ended up inside in about 60-120 seconds every second counting.  Enough hair out there to make me puke.  Pinto crashed I know.  I don’t see sight of him any where, crazy.  Pinto can swim the length of  any Olympic swimming pool underwater, He’s proved it lots of times, plus he and I rode surfboards last year during Hurricane, Lilly 15-18 foot no lie.  I know for a fact he is related to reptiles (lizards and Amphibian (gators), probably comes from his old man Grand Pa Beene, my friend.  No matter his rear end is being drug through it all over again.  I couldn’t see him for what seemed like weeks.  Eventually he starts emerging way down the break, thank God.  It hardly phased him.  Me, I’m so shook up I’m about useless.  We get the boats up away from the waves and walk back to the dunes.  A long way at this location about 100 yards where we build a big bonfire.  We change into dry cloths make a beg jug of hot toddies, build camp, put on a /Bucket of Blubber  Couple more dry cigars Beenes been taken care of.  Man, I’m glad to be alive,  I say.  Beene looks at me sort of like “Took you a while”.  Finished off the rum.  Good thing I brought a spare bottle of our Moonshine.  160 proof Weave been distilling for years in a tractor shed  in the middle of  1000 acres of  a corn field.  We can drink it or burn it in our alchohol cook stove clean paintbrushes clean car parts, we added it to Cole Beenes go cart wen he was little..   Windy, but fairly dry night,  plenty of feed, sausage, noodles, quisedillas, pudding, coffee, aspirin.  There sure was a lot of shipwreck around here.  Were around 5 miles from the jetties but this evening I don’t even want to think of the huge relentless waves.  No, this ocean touring is plain lousy.  I’ll go back in the Lagunas any day.  That dam gulf is likely to cause me nightmares tonite.  Tomorrow morning will be  400 yards to the outside, it’s stupid, it’s not even any good surfin even on one of my favorite  longboards let alone in  a row boat.  It’s better to just enjoy what Kayak touring is really all about to me.  That is camping along this kool wilderness Texas Coast.  We ought to just stay here a couple days and send out for help.  See if a jeep could come and save us from our fate.  Probably if Perry Bass caught us out here on his Island he’d bring the Sheriff along and throw us in jail.... We both thought that might be O.K.  beats goin through the surf  first thing in the morning after coffee!!.

 

SUN. MORN.

 

 

Pinto sure has got the best  coffee pot.  His wife bought it for him this Christmas the same day as his belllybutton birthday (strange  but true).  It’s stainless steel with wire plunger.  Excellent coffee and you really don’t have to take much care of it ( we used it as a bailing bucket).  About the only thing I’ve ever seen Beene take care of is his family and his old guitar.  Most everything else he’s got is rusting behind his barn.  He’s taken pretty good care of the TIDE GUIDE I loaned him for this little trip.  I don’t know.... if I  was a drinkin man it would be a good day to get drunk instead of going out into  a dam whirlpool washin machine were a fool human is just a meaningless worm bouncing in the waves.  Well what do you think we ought to do Pinto.  “ONWARD THROUGH THE FOG” he says.  I think we ought to call the God blessed Coast Guard.  But they ain’t worth it anymore. The lazy Boneheads legally have to come rescue the distressed boater,  problem for the distressed is the no goods won’t rescue your boat, just you.  I really think next time we’ll harness up Jacob.  Have some racks on his cart.  Wouldn’t bother me in the least to cancel this show and just walk out with a  Jackass and cocktail waitresses.  Turns out this is about the way we ended up  Jackass is us,  cocktail waitresses no where in sight.  When we got our courage up,  had another handful of asprin,  our boats  had drifted over with blowing snow (sand) overnight we had to sift them out.  Pinto collected some real nice Sea Shells and Sand Dollars for one of his daughters.  I didn’t have a shred of helpful hints or advice to share with Beene.  I didn’t have a clue how to get out thru the surf alive.  But Beene shoved off and away me following.  The waves where 8-10 feet stacked up and pitching a overfalls of 3 foot depth, just plowing you out of your boat if a big one connected.  I bogied out, we had ditched all our fresh water and other stuff.  No way to see much  of each other.  But I did catch a glimpse as nearly Pintos entire 17 for TIDE GUIDE pirouetted out of a wave and did a backwards ender over the falls.  Bad Beene, Bad, Mercy, Mercy, Boy.  Now I gotta turn around in this whirlpool which I did and just surf out of control back near shore.  I catch another glimpse of Beene, he has somehow climbed back into the kayak and is pointed and going out.  I turn around out of breath and shakin like I was going to my own wedding.  There is only one choice to get out and that is boogie out and hope for the best.  I didn’t stop till I was well outside must have to 3-4 minutes and being submerged and nearly wiped out a couple of times.  (going back over the falls is just a very indescribable sensation)  But out here I’m so far from shore it’s a joke.  Beene is nowhere in sight.  While I waited he got flipped twice more and then the light finally flicked on CEASE AND DESIST.  Time to walk and lead your horse cowboy.  Man this is nuts cause I’m still out here all by my lonesome.  Going in is just bonkers.  The waves walls are so steep this if  I choose the wrong wave I’m dead.  I don’t like my head underwater.  I rode some just killer rides without wipe’n out, surfed 400 yards on in and looked for Pinto.  He said,  it was hopeless.  Since I’m his friend I didn’t blame everything on him.  Now we had to walk and let me state, I’m not really into jogging or walking much, but that firm ground under me and seeing the depths of hell offshore, I was beginning to enjoy myself.  The hotels were getting clearer and bigger in the fog.  Walk we did more or less.  We tied the spray covers over the cockpits then with the bow line lead the boats along while fording thigh deep wavy beach break..  For 3 miles the gulf stream even this close to the beach would drift the kayak along quit nicely, although as heavy loaded there was quite a tug of war and we wore out 3 or 4 times and had to beach our carcasses for rest and food and the sights.  We ate up the sack of dried venison,  thanks James.  The last mile to the jetties was awful, There was an eddy from the jettie, and a strong one now going against us.  Lots of debri  in the water, a real choppy hard tug up to the jetty rocks..  So many plastic containers and trash can’t describe it.  Raining real hard.  We portage the 2 kayaks across the jetty rocks into the smooth jetty water.  Oh!!!!,  it’s nice to row along now.  Ya Yahoo,  we made it after 3 years.  We rode triumphantly into the foggy Yaught harbor.  We know Port”A” pretty well not many people around.  We can smell food cooking at the yaught club, some real fine looking yaught moored safely.  Now we are safe, we have to find Pinto’s family whom all came down last night to pick us up.  We walked over to Nueces county park in a downpour to find Denise, Wendy and Cheyane.  Denise comes out of the restrooms and women’s shower and spots us.  Says, what took you all so long, we’ve all been getting soaked and we have to go pick up Cole and Jesse.  There over fishing on the jetties.  They really didn’t want us to get into the suburban cause we would get it messy.  Pinto prevails and the girls  set us up a nice place in the back to recuperate in.  We drove off to get Jesse and Cole who had landed a couple lunker fish.  All boys stretch out in the back for the ride home.  Cole, Pinto’s #1 son says, So how was yer alls little trip!!!